DarkCheshire

If you read it, it rhymes.

Otherwise you can read it "Oo-e-poo-e".  If you read it this way - STOP SOUNDING THINGS OUT.

Anyway, whatever floats your boat will do.  Unless your boat is the Titanic.  Then you should not be reading this. Get out. Now.

College has started.  Last Wednesday was the first day of classes.  

So far, school has been great.  It really is a big change from high school.  In high school, your assigned homework and told when to do it.  

In college, you're assigned homework, and told, "JUST DO IT WHENEVER OKAY!?"

Whenever could be any time.  These proffesors are crazy, straight crazy.

The interesting thing is that most assignments are turned in online.  Whatever happened to paper? WHERE DID YOU GO PAPER?

Soon enough, handwritting will be a thing of the past.  Screw your pencils boy, you got fingers for typing.  Unless you're paraylized.  That would just suck.  Sorry if you are.  

The campus life is interesting.  There is always something going on.  Then again, the campus is downtown - if something wasn't going on, that would likely be the sign of a holocaust.  

Which would never happen in Indiana, because we love all people.  NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE.  

Anywho, I have classes every single day of the freaking week.  Which gets annoying.  If I were to write out my schedule, it would look like this: OMG

Monday:
Chemistry C101 (9-10:15am)
Math 111 (12-1:15pm)

Tuesday:
EALC Japanese (6-8:15pm)

Wednesday:
JUST A REPEAT OF MONDAY OKAY

Thursday:
Windows on Science (3-4:40pm)
EALC Japanese (6-8:15)

Friday:
JUST A REPEAT OF MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY OKAY

Yeah, that's my schedule.  So far, school work hasn't been to bad.  It's actually a pretty fun load - since the majority of the classes are things I prefer learning about.   

I'm still hoping to go into Pre-Med.  Minoring in something like East Asian Languages would be cool.  But that's way to HEAVY of a load.  That would be like, a fatass amount of homework and studying all together.  

Hey, if I can make it enough to get a B.A., that's awesome.  Not a B.S.  That requires math.  A lot of math.  Forget math.  It's for posers.  Don't be a poser.    

Anyway, hope everyone is having a fun time at school.  Especially all you high schoolers.  HAVE FUN BEING YOUNG AND STUPID.  You really aren't.  Don't be down on yourself.

Many days have gone by.  

The quest for a Bridge entry per day has dissapeared.

Somewhere in the mist it wallows.  Where it belongs, with the Gorillas.   

So much has happened in the past week.  If you were to load a truck with all that has happened - it would be full.  That's not a lie.  If you want to try it, go out and rent a truck.  While you can't pack it with experiences that aren't your own - imagine you are.  

Once you are done imaginging.  You can read the rest of this.  Or you don't have to.  Maybe you're tired from all that loading and unloading.  

That's what happens when you take a challange.  Bitch.

You aren't really a bitch.  So don't take offense to that.  If you really were a bitch, people wouldn't like you as much.  And obviously people like you, because you're online right now - reading.  Which only likable people do.  So yeah.  There you go.  

Anyway, Bridge has been uber duber exciting.  

Things have happened.  Pictures have been taken.  Lectures have been given.  Babies, however, have not been made.  Which really isn't a part of college.  If it were, it would be taught at "LaShaunda U, Home of the "Uuuuh Nuuuuh Girl".  

Things have happened after class each day.  On Wednesday of last week, I decided to travel home to get some good ol' rest.  Rest that didn't involve sleeping in water at night.  And by water, sweat is meant.  And by sweat, human waste that seeps from your body is meant.  And by human wase that seeps from your body, shit is meant.  

So, I didn't have to sleep in shit for one full night.  On Wednesday, some interesting news also came my way.  But that's a whole 'other story.

On Thursday, absolutely nothing eventful happened.  This was very saddening.  So saddening I cried.  Cried for hours on end.  However, none of these tears actually came out of my body or were ever consciencely made.  

A new episode of American Mcgee's Grimm was released on Thursday.  And if you haven't played it yet - you can so just dissapear.  You might as well just vanish.  Nobody wants you.  If an invisibilty cloak was real - you should wear it to hide your face.  Your face that is blind to fun.  Let it remain blind to the world.  

Anyway, at first - the plan for Thursday was to stay on campus and go to the Children's Museum for free.  The Children's Museum is the best in nation.  So  ya'll other cities can take yo' trash and just shove it.  Nobody want ya'll children exhibits.  Ya'll don't even know how to run it.  Ya'll stupid.

If you've never been before, the Children's Museum lets you act like you're an amazing kid who has all the greatest jobs.  For one minute you can be an Archeoligist, and in the next minute you can run a telivision show. The advancement of jobs is very realistic to the real world.  Many Archeoligist and Bridge builders have become succesful newscasters.  Both jobs are equaly as excitable as the last.    

In the end though, I didn't go.  I tried to sleep.  But that didn't work, cause God was like, "NO STOP IT NOW".  So, I called my dad and went home for the weekend.  

After coming back on Monday, the day was easy.  We had to do a Powerpoint presentation - which is obviously a very hard transition into college.  Cause, I mean, no high school uses powerpoint.  It was the most difficult day of my life.  If college is this hard, I am so QUITTING.  

Afterwards, hung out with some peeps.  We dug the town.  We drove the streets.  We danced.  We partied.  We romanced.  All of these things at once.  

Today was no different - we gave oral presentations.  And that was very hot.  I almost died from how amazing of a job everyone did.  I didn't expect them to do so good using the HORRIBLE POWERPOINT PROGRAM.  

Anyway, that's about it so far.  It's way to late to write.  

You should go to bed.  

RIGHT NOW.  JUST GO.

How can you just forget about someone?

Wouldn't it suck if one day you went to sleep and woke up the next day to find out the person you loved had completely forgotten you?  

That they had no feelings toward you whatsoever.  

It seems impossible.  But it's not. At least, it seems that way.

God, if I could go back now and change everything, I would.  If I could stop myself from making the horrible mistakes I did - I would.  If I could rewind everything, and remain at the beginning I would.  

I should have seen it coming, I should have thought it out.  I didn't give the respect I should have - I didn't give the love.  But believe me, I always loved.  I always had the heart - but I decided not to give it.  

I would die, just for one more chance.  As emo and handicapped as that sounds - it's something I'd do.  If I could give a part of my soul, to some other part of this world, I would - only if it meant I could have her back, and tell her I'm sorry.

I know it's all my fault.  It's not hers.  It never was.  And I should have listened, and I should have given my all.  And I'm so sorry.  I'm so, so, so sorry about how I acted.  About what I did.  If I had one more chance, just one more chance, I'd fix everything.  I'd do everything.  I'd sacrifice everything.  

Deep inside, they say the feeling of loss goes away in days.  That it's worst the first day and eventually slips away.  But it's weird, it's not getting worse, it's growing.  Each day feels worst than the last - more hopeless, like a precious amount of time is ticking away.  You can't reclaim time - but I so badly want to reclaim what I had.  

It's the worst feeling in the world.  To still love and not be loved back - to be shunned out of what you used to enjoy.  And you can't talk to that person - your mind won't let you.  All you want to do is say you're sorry - you want to stand up for yourself - you can't make sense.  But the words don't come out straight.  If I could just say that I loved her still.  But that's not any good.  That's not any good at all.  

So what are you supposed to do, forget?  That it.  Really?  Just, forget everything.  Wrap it up in a box and ship it away?  

"You'll look back in ten years and say, 'Man, I was stupid for liking her'".  

No, I'll look back and twenty years and not have any words, because I'll realize what an idiot I was - and how badly it hurt to not have a second chance.  Just one more time.  

That's life, right?  You learn from fallen relationships.  I've learned - but I don't want to lose.  I can't lose what I enjoyed beyond compare.

Everything else is a shell, and I want what fills that shell.  I really want her back.  I really, really, really want her back.

All the things we did.  God, I could list off a thousand different trends we had.  All the things we loved.  I don't want those times to be over.  I can't even walk around, without thinking of where you have been, what you have seen.

God, I'm so sorry.  I'm so sorry about everything.  I still love you. I still really love you.

Yo, yo,

It's time to break it down like water to a rock over a thousand years.  

It goes something like this:

College is starting soon.  Like, so soon you can taste it.  If you were to reach out your tongue right now - you would get a big lick of education.  But don't take to much, you'll get addicted.  

It starts on August 20th.  If you look at your calander right now, August 20th will be staring you in the face.  But don't look for long, there is always a possibility for acute blindness.

School should be starting for a lot of people right now.  The cool people that is.  Cause only cool people go to school.  Unless it's an inner city school - then only ghetto people go to school.  Well, they try.

Oh yeahz, the college I'm going to is called IUPUI. They took the two biggest schools in Indiana and created a biracial marriage.  Which, luckily, is located smack dab in the middle of the city.  There's also a hot child in the city - but no one has found them as of this time.  

For the past week, I've been stuck on campus in one of the dorms.  Air conditioning was obviously not around in the 70s when the campus was built.  Therefore, all the buildings are constantly on fire.  Life is a challange at IUPUI.  

Other than that, things have been going pretty sweet.  Except for snags here and there.  But snags are like fags, you can smoke them.  You were likely thinking of those "fags".  Don't be rude.  You're very rude.

What is maturity?  Oh man, I have no idea.  

Obviously I've been licked and cuddled so much that's it's disappeared.  Curse this love I feel.  My mind no longer exist because of love.  Now my skull is full of candy canes and liquor.  Why liquor?  Because it's immature to drink liquor, obviously.   

According to some people, loving the wrong person can make you become immature.

What is maturity to you guys?  What makes a man, an individual, mature?  Does it come with age?  Does it come with experience?  Is it always in our minds, slowly growing?  

Someone gave an interesting definition lately.  He said that he was mature because he was no longer a gamer - now he's an anthropomorphic artist.  This just seems a little confusing.  So, because this person doesn't play video games anymore, he's more mature?  He understands more about life?

Sure, he's picked up a few new skills, but that doesn't make him Socrates.  First off, being a gamer doesn't make you immature - some gamers use their skills professionally.  

Is it childish to think that loving games to much makes you immature?

This same person also noted that he does everything he is told.  Mind you this though - he only does what one person tells him.  According to him, this person has led him to a life of "salvation".  Actually, this guy is the one that saved him from being a "gamer".  

Does that make him mature?  Is it mature to do everything one person tells you?  Think about it, this guy believes it bad to think for himself - he thrives on the opinion of someone else.  He does what his "master" says.  

Is that mature?

Think about it, dozens of people have listened to only "one" man throughout time.  Sometimes it has  it's good side.  But it has it's bad side as well.  Think about cults.  They have one leader - a leader who tells their students what to think.

On top of that, since it's been on question of late - I do date Fluorii.  And, I don't regret it for the world.  

Fluorii is an amazing person, a great artist, and a wonderful influence in general.  

We've dated for about a year three months.  I can't quite think of anything that would top how I feel for Fluorii.  He's more than just a man - he's everything I've ever wanted.

Fluorii is a cutie pie, without an eye.  But he does have an eye.  But don't tell.  It will ruin the rhyme scheme.

Also, do you think it mature that a friend would leave another friend over the person they date?

Say these friends had been friends for about, who knows, five years.  And lets say this other friend hated his friends lover.  

Is it mature for the "mad" friend to give these two choices: A. You break up with him or B. I'm not your friend.  

Sometimes the people who think they have the most maturity fail to use it.  Instead they write journals bashing their "friends".  Not only do they fail to limit how much they say - they decide that putting everybody's avatar and link to their dA page is quite mature.  

No man is completely mature - especially the man who says he is without a doubt.